Chat GPT isn't your fu*king SEO team!

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Some dickhead on LinkedIn just told you to bin your SEO tools and use

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ChatGPT instead. That's how you fuck your entire

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website. Let's talk about it.

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This is SEO fucking what? I'm Nicky and I help business

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owners like you actually get found in search and make money from

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your website. And today I'm really pissed off

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because LinkedIn is currently drowning in dangerous

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bollocks from people who've discovered ChatGPT and think

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they've cracked the entire SEO code. If I was

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younger, I might say, dude, what the fuck?

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Let me paint you a picture. You're scrolling LinkedIn, probably

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procrastinating from actual work, and you see a post.

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Big numbers, thousands of followers. The post says,

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goodbye, paid SEO tools. I saved eight and a half thousand

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pounds a year using these seven ChatGPT prompts

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and you think, fuck me, that sounds brilliant. Why

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should I carry on paying For SEMrush or SE ranking or

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Ahrefs? Well, I'll tell you why. Because that post

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is written by someone who knows just enough about SEO to

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be absolutely fucking dangerous. They

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figured out how to get ChatGPT to spit out keyword lists

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and they think that makes them qualified to give strategic advice.

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It really doesn't. And these posts are everywhere. Right

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now they're telling small business owners, people like you, that

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you can replace professional SEO tools with a fucking

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chatbot. So you can just type act as an

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SEO professional with 20 years of experience into a prompt

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and suddenly you've got expert level strategy and

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oh my God, it's bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit.

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Now look, I use AI tools. I'm not some luddite

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standing here screaming about robots taking our jobs. But there's

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a massive fucking difference between using AI as part of your

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toolkit and pretending it can replace actual

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expertise, real data and proper SEO

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tools. So let's take a look at why these LinkedIn gurus are

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talking absolute bollocks.

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First up, there's a data problem. These prompts tell

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ChatGPT to estimate search volume.

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Estimate as in make it up.

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ChatGPT doesn't have access to Google's actual search data.

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Can't that data is proprietary. So when it gives

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you a number, oh, this keyword gets 2 1/2 thousand searches a month.

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Where the fuck do you think it got that number from? It made it up

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based on patterns it learned during training is an educated guess

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at best and complete fabrication at worst.

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Are paid SEO tools perfect? No. Different

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tools give you different numbers because they're all sampling data differently.

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But at Least they're sampling actual search data. They're using

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real metrics from real searches. ChatGPT

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is just guessing. And basing your entire content

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strategy on guesses is like navigating with a map you drew

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from memory on the back of a soggy beer mat while you were pissed.

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Secondly, keyword difficulty is bollocks without

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context. One of these genius prompts asked ChatGPT

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to rate keyword difficulty on a scale of 1 to 100.

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But based on what? What's it measuring? Link

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profiles, domain authority, content quality,

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freshness signals, SERP feature features? It can't

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measure any of that because it can't see the actual info it

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needs. It's just making up a number that sounds plausible.

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And you're supposed to base your content decisions on this

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off. When Ahrefs gives you a keyword difficulty score

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is analyzing the actual ranking pages, how

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many backlinks they have, the authority of those links, the content

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depth. It's not perfect, but it's based on real data,

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not vibes. The thirdly is the

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analyze my competitor fantasy. We saw one

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prompt that said analyze competitor.com and predict their

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top traffic driving pages Predict, not

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look at their actual traffic data. Because ChatGPT can't do that.

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It'll just guess based on what pages exist and what looks important.

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But you know what actually tells you which pages do drive

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traffic? Tools like Ahrefs and

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SEMrush and SE ranking tools that have actual

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crawl data and can see real organic traffic

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estimates. ChatGPT is just looking at your competitor's

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sitemap and making shit up.

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And you might be wondering why these posts have me so pissed off.

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Because they're not just wrong, they're dangerously wrong.

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Because they're aimed at people who don't know enough about SEO to spot the

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bullshit. If you're an experienced SEO, you can use

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ChatGPT to speed up certain tasks. You know what's

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realistic and you know what's bullshit. You can fact check its

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output. You know when it's hallucinating, or at least have a

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good idea. But if you're a small business owner trying to DIY your

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SEO, you don't have that bullshit detector. You see

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SEO strategists with 20 years of experience in the prompt

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and you think the output is actually that good. But it's

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not. It's a chatbot pretending to be that good.

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And the people posting these prompts, they're not taking

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responsibility for the damage they're causing. They're not following up with the

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business owners who tanked their rankings because they followed the advice

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you've got their engagement, their followers, their little hits of

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dopamine, the likes and the shares. And they fucked off.

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So let's talk about what these prompts actually miss from

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a technical SEO point of view. ChatGPT can't crawl your

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website. It can't tell you that your site speed is dogshit,

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your internal linking structure is a mess, or that you've got hundreds of

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orphaned pages. Screaming frog. Does that se

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ranking? Does that semrush? Does that ChatGPT

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doesn't? For backlink

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analysis, you can't ask ChatGPT to find

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backlink opportunities and get actual link prospects. It'll give

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you generic categories of sites that might link to you. That's not link

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building. That's a year seven brainstorming session.

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For real competitor data, you need actual traffic

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data, actual keyword rankings, actual serp

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positions, not ChatGPT's best guess about

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what might be working for your competitors. And For SERP analysis,

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ChatGPT can't see that Google is showing video results for your

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target keyword, or that there's a featured snippet you could target.

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Or that the entire first page is dominated by news articles

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and that context is fucking critical to your strategy. And you know

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what the worst part is? These LinkedIn twats always have the

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same defense. But it works for small projects. Not everyone

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can afford ahrefs, right? So your solution for people with

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small budgets is to give them completely unreliable data

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and let them waste months creating content based on made up

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numbers. That's your big helpful contribution.

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If you can't afford professional tools, there are other options.

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Google Search Console is free and gives you actual real data

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about your actual real traffic. Google Keyword Planner within

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Google Ads is free. You can do manual SERP analysis.

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Just google your target keywords and look at what's ranking. It

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takes more time, but at least you're working with reality,

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not ChatGPT's cheese dreams. These posts make it

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sound like paid SEO tools are some kind of scam. Like we're all

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just throwing money away on unnecessary subscriptions.

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Polluts. These tools exist because doing SEO

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properly requires actual data. You

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can't just prompt engineer your way around that fundamental truth.

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And you know what? The people writing these posts, they know that.

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They know the limitations, but they also know that

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ditch your expectations expensive tools is clickbait gold.

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They know that business owners struggling with tight budgets will lap this

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up. They're exploiting people's financial stress to get

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engagement. That's not being helpful. That's being a

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fucking charlatan. So what should you do if you

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can't afford the full suite of SEO tools? How do you get

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decent keyword research and competitor analysis without either

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breaking the bank or or relying on ChatGPT's bullshit?

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I'll tell you in just a moment

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right how do you get decent keyword research and competitor

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analysis without either breaking the bank or relying on

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ChatGPT's bullshit? Here's what you should do if you're

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working with a tight budget. Number one Start with

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Google Search Console. It's free. It shows you what

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queries you're already ranking for, which pages get traffic,

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and where you're showing up in search results. This is real data

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about your actual website. Use it.

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Number two do some manual keyword research.

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Google your topic. Look at the People Also Ask and the Related

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Searches sections. Look at what questions people are asking

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in Reddit threads and Quora. Yes, it takes longer than

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a paid tool, but it's based on what people search for,

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not what a chatbot thinks they search for. 3.

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Analyze the actual search engine results pages. The SERPs

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Google your target keywords and look at what's ranking, what

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type of content is it, how long is it, what angle are they

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taking? What questions are they answering? You can learn a

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massive amount just by paying attention to what Google is

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already rewarding. 4 Use free

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tools strategically Google Keyword

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Planner is part of Google Ads. It gives you rough search

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volumes for search phrases. Ubersuggest has a limited

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free tier. Ask the Public is free for

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basic use. These aren't as comprehensive as paid tools,

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but they're based on actual data. Number five

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if you're going to use ChatGPT, use it for what it's

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actually good at generating content outlines once you know your

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target keyword and the intent of your searcher, helping you

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brainstorm title ideas, drafting meta descriptions. Just

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don't use it to decide what keywords to target or what your

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strategy should be. For that, you need real data. And this is the

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thing that nobody wants to hear. If you're serious about

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SEO, if it actually matters to your business, then you're going

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to have to invest something, either time

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or money. You can do SEO on a budget by

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investing more time in manual research, or you can pay

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for tools that speed up the process with better data. What you

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can't do is replace expertise and data with chatbot

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prompts. Anyone telling you otherwise is either lying to you

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or doesn't know enough about SEO to realize they're wrong

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I get it. These LinkedIn posts are seductive.

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They promise you can have professional level SEO without the

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professional level cost, but there's no such thing as a free

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lunch. There's definitely no such thing as free

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accurate SEO data from a chatbot. So if you

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see one of these posts, just remember if it sounds too good

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to be true, it probably is. And if someone with

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50,000 followers is giving you SEO advice,

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check whether they actually do SEO for a living or whether they just

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post about productivity hacks and AI prompts all day.

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Well that's me done ranting for this week. If this helped make sure you're

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following SEO fucking what? Wherever you listen to your podcasts. And

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if you want to send me the worst SEO advice you've ever seen on

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LinkedIn, you can find me via my website or on

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LinkedIn. Until next time get found, make

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money. And for sake, don't trust ChatGPT to run

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your entire SEO strategy.