Episode 6

full
Published on:

23rd Nov 2025

The F**king SEO Your Web Designer Promised vs What You Actually Got

Ever handed over a chunk of cash to your web designer for “SEO” and ended up with nothing but a plugin and a lot of empty promises?

Hi, I'm Nikki Pilkington. My site is https://nikki-pilkington.com/ and in this episode of SEO F**king What, I’m pulling back the curtain on what really happens when web designers say they do SEO—and how you can tell if you’ve been stitched up.

I’ll walk you through the fixes and explain why most web designers aren’t SEO experts (and why that’s not a dig at them), reveal what real SEO looks like, and share the right questions to ask before you hire anyone.

Plus, I’ve got actionable steps you can take right now to get your site sorted—no bollocks, just practical advice.

If you’re ready to finally get found and make some money, hit follow and click play for some non-wanky SEO guidance that actually works!

Timestamped summary

00:00 "Web Design vs. True SEO"

03:52 "SEO Advice: Get Found"

This episode is all about ensuring your web designer doesn't totally fuck you over on your SEO.

But you'll have even better results from your SEO by having me in your corner - https://nikki-pilkington.com/seo-training/

Want to check out more episodes? https://seofuckingwhatpodcast.co.uk/

Transcript
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Your web designer said they do SEO. They installed a

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plugin and charged you two grand extra. You probably got

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absolutely fuck all. So what's the fix? How do

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you tell if your web designer has stitched you up and what do you do

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about it? I'll tell you that in just a moment.

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Okay, here's what you need to do. 1.

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Check if you have Google Search Console setup. Log into your

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Google account, go to search.google.com

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search console and see if your website's there.

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If it's not, you've got no data about how Google sees your site,

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none that needs fixing immediately. Set it up

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yourself. It's free, and Google has instructions. Or get someone who knows

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what they're doing to do it for you. And the same with Google Analytics.

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Go to analytics.google.com and check if your site's connected,

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if it's not there or it's set up wrong, like it's tracking the web

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designer's test site instead of your own, which happens more often than you think.

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Sort it. You need to know how many people are visiting your site, where

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they're coming from, and what they're doing when they get there. 2. Take

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a look at those 10 keywords you gave your web designer. Open an incognito

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window in your browser and search for them on Google. Be honest. Are

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you anywhere on page one? Page two? No, please. Page ten no,

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please don't. If you're nowhere to be found, those keywords aren't doing

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shit for you. Don't blame yourself. You didn't know what to pick,

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but now you need to actually research what your customers are searching

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for. Use Ahrefs free keyword tool

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or get someone who understands keyword research to do it properly.

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Do not use ChatGPT. 3. Look at

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search intent for each of those keywords. Think about what someone

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searching that term actually wants. Are they looking to buy?

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Looking for information? Trying to find a local business? If your

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content doesn't match what they're after, you're wasting your time. This

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is where proper SEO strategy comes in, understanding

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not just what people search, but why they're searching it.

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4. If your web designer genuinely doesn't

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understand SEO, and a lot don't because it's not their job.

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Stop expecting them to. It's not a dig at them.

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They're amazing at design. That's what you hired them for.

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But if you want amazing SEO as well, you need to either bring in

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someone who specializes in it or learn enough yourself

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to at least audit what's been done and spot when you're being fobbed

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off with bollocks. And finally, I'll tell you in just a

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moment.

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And finally, if you're about to hire a web designer and

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they say they do SEO, ask them exactly

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what that means. Do they do keyword research? Do they

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set up search console analytics? Do they create a content

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strategy? Do they build proper tracking so you can see what's

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working? If they say, oh, yeah, we install

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Yoast and optimize your meta tags, that's your red

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flag right there. That's not SEO. That's

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the absolute bare minimum. You want someone who either

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works with an SEO specialist or is honest enough to say, I

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can build you a technically sound website, but you'll need someone else

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for the SEO side because that honesty is worth its weight

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in gold. Now look, there are some awesome

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cracking web designers out there who genuinely understand

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SEO or who partner with people who do. If you've got

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one of those, brilliant, hang on to them. But if your

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SEO consisted of handing over 10 keywords and getting a plugin

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installed, you've been sold a load of bollocks. Don't feel

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bad about it. These people are convincing. But now you know

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what actual SEO looks like, you can go and get it done properly.

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That's it for this week. And if this helps, don't keep it to yourself.

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Hit follow on SEO fucking what? Wherever you're listening so you don't

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miss the next episode. And if you want me to take a look at your

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website and tell you what's going on with your SEO, find me on

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LinkedIn. Until next time, get found, make money,

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stop stressing, be non wanky.

Show artwork for SEO F**king What - Get Found on Google, make money from your website

About the Podcast

SEO F**king What - Get Found on Google, make money from your website
SEO advice that cuts through the crap and doesn't treat you like an idiot
This podcast exists because you deserve better than the SEO bollocks currently being sold to you.

Every week, I'll give you 10-15 minutes of straight talk about SEO. Practical advice that actually works for B2B websites trying to get found on Google/search and make money. The kind of stuff that's been proven over years, not dreamed up last Tuesday by some LinkedIn tosspot.

Real SEO from someone who's been doing this since dial-up was considered fast. I'll tell you what works, what's complete nonsense, and which tactics will get your website buried faster than you can say "guaranteed first page rankings."

I'm calling out the bullshitters. The agencies promising the world and delivering fuck all. The LinkedIn gooroos flogging courses about things that don't actually exist. The AI SEO "hacks" destroying perfectly good websites. The expensive tools you don't need. The "experts" who learned SEO from a YouTube video three months ago. If someone's talking bollocks about SEO, you'll hear about it here.

More importantly, I'm telling you what to do instead. Every rant comes with actual, practical steps you can take. Real actions that get results, not theory that sounds clever but does bugger all for your rankings. "Do this, then do that, and you'll see movement." That's it. That's the format.

You're running a B2B business or managing a B2B website. You've probably been burned by an SEO agency before. Maybe they took your money and delivered a fancy report full of words that meant absolutely nothing. Or they promised first page rankings and disappeared after six months of bugger all results.

You're sick of reading blog posts that say nothing in 2000 words. You're tired of SEO "tips" that are either blindingly obvious or completely bizarre. You want someone to cut through the crap and tell you what actually matters for your business, not what works for some massive ecommerce site with a budget the size of a small country.

You don't need a PhD in technical SEO. You need to know what's worth your time and what's complete bollocks. You need to know which tactics will actually bring in leads and which ones are just expensive ways to make yourself feel busy. That's what I'm here for.

This isn't some sanitised, corporate-approved SEO podcast where everyone's lovely and we pretend all tactics are equally valid. They're not. Some are brilliant. Most are pointless. And some will actively fuck up your website while the "expert" who recommended them is off selling the same dodgy advice to the next poor sod.

I swear. A lot. If that bothers you, there are plenty of other podcasts out there with hosts who never offend anyone. Go find them. They're very nice. They're also very boring.

This also isn't a podcast that assumes you're stupid. You're not. You're just busy running a business and don't have time to decode the latest algorithm update or work out which SEO tactic is legitimate and which one's complete fantasy.

Fifteen minutes. One topic. I'll tell you what's pissing me off this week in the SEO industry, why it matters to your website, and what you should actually do about it. Then I'm done. You can get back to running your business.

New episodes drop weekly, because the SEO industry creates fresh bullshit faster than I can rant about it. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts so you don't miss the next time some gooroo invents a new problem to sell you the solution to.

Welcome to SEO F**king What? Let's fix your website.

About your host

Profile picture for Nikki Pilkington

Nikki Pilkington

SEO consultant and copywriter who's spent 30 years watching people panic about algorithm updates while ignoring what actually works.

I help B2B businesses get found on Google without the jargon, false promises, or expensive courses targeting 0.19% of traffic. My morning starts with SE Ranking and Google Search Console because data beats hunches every time.

I don't do overnight results, premium-priced basic tactics, or clients I can't genuinely help. If you don't need my services, I'll tell you that too.

Fair warning: I'm a little bit sweary...